View Full Version : Can't scrap.

Florida Cindy
07-19-2006, 04:22 PM
I tried to digi scrap today but just couldn't do it-even with quick pages. I guess it's because my friend Nicole has been on my mind. She's my beautiful 36 year old friend who is dying of brain cancer.

I saw Nicole yesterday. She was able to communicate to me by blinking her eyes. She "told me" that she needed to see a few more people from our workplace. When I arrived home I called them immediately.

Nicole is not able to sit up, move her head or her hands. She can blink and try to move her lips. She is in and out of consciousness. The best time to talk to her is when her pain medication is wearing off as she is "awake" at that time. Actually, that was yesterday and it could be a different story today. Her brain tumors have moved to the right side of her brain, completely infiltrating her brain. The cancer has spread down her spine too. I pray she slips into a quiet coma soon and then goes to Heaven rather quickly so she doesn't have to suffer anymore.

I am sure my desire to scrap will come back. But, to tell you the truth, it doesn't seem that important anymore. I have learned from Nicole that love for human kind and animal kind is truly the most important lesson to learn on this earth. Ladies, I thank you for reading this post. It is therapeutic for me to write this...and most importantly to you. You don't know me in real life but I felt safe to post this on a site. I have found the members here are extremely intelligent and compassionate.

Please keep Nicole in your prayers and her safe passage to Heaven.

Microferk ~ Miki Ferkul
07-19-2006, 04:24 PM
(((Cindy))) Be gentle and be still. You are where you need to be right now.
Nicole is blessed to have a friend that is able and willing to be there at this point- and she will forever be a guardian for you as well.
((hugs, friend))

07-19-2006, 04:30 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this. Cancer is a horrible, wicked thing. You're doing the right thing at the right time. Will pray for her and for you, too -

07-19-2006, 04:35 PM
(((((BIG HUGS)))))

Christine Borgfeld
07-19-2006, 04:44 PM
This is so powerful Cindy - it sounds like you have found some peace with it at least, and I'm glad this forum helped you. I'll keep you both in my heart and thoughts.

Donna Rafferty
07-19-2006, 04:45 PM
Cancer is such a hard thing to watch someone you love go through. I watched my dear father pass away from lung cancer, and it was SO hard.

The hospice nurse gave me a little book that had this passage at the end and as I was trying to deal with it all, my mind kept returning to this and it really helped me so I will post it here, maybe it will bring some comfort:

Gone from my sight...
I stand upon the seashore as a ship spreads its white sails to the morning breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. It is the object of beauty and strength, and I stand and watch it until
at length it hangs like a speck of white cloud, just where the sea and sky come to mingle
with each other. Then someone at my side says, "Look....she's gone!" Gone? Where?
....From my sight, that's all; for she is just as large in mast and hull and spar as
when she left my side.... and she is just as able to bear her load of living weight to
her destined port. The diminished size is in me, not in her. For at the moment when
someone at my side says, "There...she's gone."..., there are other eyes that are watching
for her coming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!
Here she comes!"

Herein is the illustration.... THERE IS NO DEATH. Separation for a time, yes ...but that
does not disolve love. There will be some who will say, "She's gone." But I know better.
For the Spirit which animated her body is just as strong as ever, but presently the seas
are calm; and for her the sailing is easier now.

I will pray for peace for you and your friend.

07-19-2006, 04:59 PM

She's so blessed to have a friend like you.

07-19-2006, 06:23 PM
I will keep Nichole in my prayers. She's very lucky to have a friend like you! I pray for your continued strength, Cindy. There's nothing more difficult than seeing someone you love die. Be strong, girl!

Lauren Grier
07-19-2006, 06:30 PM
she is in my heart.. much love and strength. My Aunt passed away last month from what began as breast cancer.. In the end the cancer had eaten away at her so badly that her bones were decaying & the calcium was poisoining her blood. On her last night my mother was able to "talk" to her over the phone. My uncle just held it there and asked her to say anything and everything, just so she knew my mother was there. It's heart breaking, and never fair. It puts your whole life into a new perspective. Sorry for babbling there a bit, I am trying to tell you (in my round about way) that I can relate, I have felt, and still feel what you are feeling. I hope that she can be at peace soon, and her suffering no more. All my love.

07-19-2006, 06:33 PM
Strength and peace to you and all around you and your dear friend!


Florida Cindy
07-20-2006, 02:31 AM
You are so warm and compassionate! Thank you for the prayers and hugs for my friend Nicole and for myself. Most of all, thank you for taking your time to post! You are a phenomenal group on gals!

07-20-2006, 02:34 AM
((((HUGS)))) My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this time.

07-20-2006, 04:10 AM
I am so sorry Cindy. I lost my mom to cancer so I can understand some of what you are experiencing.

I hope you can take some comfort in the fact that you are doing the right thing, and your kindness and company will mean a lot to your friend.

07-20-2006, 04:30 AM
{{{Big HUG}}}} You and Nicole are in my prayers.

I lost my dad to brain cancer so I know how you feel. I don't think there is a "nice" way to die, but brain cancer is such a slow, tough way to go. She is truly blessed to have a friend like you.
CIndy just do what you need to do today and tommorrow and the day after... the rest of life will be there waiting for you.

07-20-2006, 04:52 AM
I'm so sorry! It is a terrible thing to go through. She will be in my thoughts and prayers, as are you. Hugs!

07-20-2006, 04:57 AM
Oh, Your post has me crying! I'm so sorry you're losing your friend. There is nothing that I can say to help but know that I am thinking of both of you. Cancer is so horrible.