View Full Version : Question for Moms - When do you start Slumber Parties?
11-14-2007, 03:52 PM
At what age did your kids start having sleep overs? Nikki asked me today if she could have a slumber party. I asked her what a slumber party is, and she said you get to have lots of snacks, and you sleep in the same bed, and when you wake up...your friend is still there to play. When I asked her who she wanted to invite, she said Maddie and Joseph. I told her that SHE can't invite boys to a slumber party, only girls, cause I though Billy was gonna have a stroke right then!
So help me out...when is she old enough for a slumber party? She's just turned 4 last month.
11-14-2007, 04:07 PM
First time my daughter actually asked to sleep over at a friends house, I think she was about 10. She made it until 10:30 pm, then called me from her cell phone to come and pick her up. About 4 months later she asked again for another sleep over at the same friend's house. She stayed all night and most of the next day.
Now, on the other hand, we had one of my daughter's friends sleep over at our house when that girl was about 9.
I think the question about at what age is a good age is very individual to every child. Some children are more comfortable being away from home than others. Same with parents, some parents are more comfortable with their children being gone over night than others.
Before you agree or disagree to anything, talk to the other children's parents first. Only when the parents agree you can ask if the children would like to stay over. I think 4 is still very young, but I am one of those mother hens that don't want to let the kids go, period. :)
11-14-2007, 04:13 PM
My DD had her first "sleep over" at the age of 5. She's done three or four of them so far, and they have been fine. We've had a friend over once and she's been to another friend's house twice, and one time she was invited to an actual birthday 'slumber' party and there were a total of three girls. I was actually a bit hesitant about how she would do at the birthday party since it was at a house that she'd only been to a couple of other times. I don't think she would have been ready at the age of four.
11-14-2007, 04:13 PM
We've done slumber parties (my son is 5) but it was with cousins. They love it though!
11-14-2007, 04:18 PM
My DD is 6 and I think that is too young! My DS asked if a friend of his could have a spend the night today and he is 4. I told him that he was still to young for that. I really think it is subjective though. If you think that your DD is old enough then I would definitely talk to the other girl's mom.
11-14-2007, 04:45 PM
My 5 year old has done a couple at my best friends house, but we are like family (have been best friends for over 25 years) so it sort of doesn't count.
She will have her real one with (new friends) this Sat. Her whole Daisy troop is having a sleepover at one of the leaders house. All 3 leaders will be there, so I feel ok with it, but still am a tiny bit anxious. I just hope she makes it because we got a sitter for our youngest and we are planning a date night which we NEVER do. I'll be so sad if I get a call at 10:00 pm to come get her! LOL
11-14-2007, 04:47 PM
My girls, who are now 21 and 20, had sleepovers around age 10. I let them have 2 or 3 girls over, and they played games, ate snacks, and didn't do much sleeping!
11-14-2007, 04:56 PM
I let my dd go to her first one at 7 years old and she almost didn't make it. This year for her 8th birthday she had her own slumber party. I expected about half would not attend so I invited 12 and got 6. Of the 6 that came only 3 actually spent the night.
It really is different for each child, but also for the parents. Because they have to be willing to let them go too :) And in this day and age, most parents don't let their kids go to sleep overs if they don't know the other parents. So there are lots of variables.
11-14-2007, 05:13 PM
we've had my best friend's two older girls over twice, and Jake's good friend Ryan once. At this age (5) I would only keep kids overnight who I was already really close to, really good friends with the parents, in their lives every week so we're used to each other. Because basically? It's overnight baby-sitting for me. But it's fun.
Real sleepovers? I don't know. haven't thought that far ahead yet.
11-14-2007, 05:23 PM
My son wants to have a sleep over. I was thinking I could invite the boys over after school and have time stay til dark about 8:00 or so. He is 4 years old.
11-14-2007, 05:24 PM
sleepovers are so much fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jaden was 4 when she had her first. She loves it. But we only have girls over when we are really close with them family.
11-14-2007, 06:15 PM
My daughter had her first sleepover when she was in kindergarden. She has been having them ever since (she's 12 now). Lately all they want to do is stay up all night. Like it is some big feat to do an allnighter. She is usually useless the next day, so we have really cut down on the sleepovers.
11-14-2007, 06:27 PM
I have two older girls, an 8 year old and a 4 year old.. My 8 year old has been spending the night with friends since she was in first grade.. So, she started I guess at 6.. We just had our first slumber party at our house for her 8th birthday party in September and had 7 girls spend the night.. It was trying... lol.. I have four total children myself, so an additional 7 made for a long night.. LOL.. We bought a couple games.. Twister, old maid, go fish and candy land.. Michayla promptly told me Candy Land was a baby game so that was nixed but Twister was a hit and I did all of the girl's make up and hair and bought fashion play jewelry for all of them and took "glamour" photos of them.. (I should scrap those someday)..
anyway, I'm sure that's too much info.. but, my 4 year old daughter who just turned 4 in August.. Is not even CLOSE to ready.. She's in pre-k right now and does well enough at school but, she JUST started being allowed to go outside and only if her big sister is with her and she has to have one of our cellphones so I can check in with them.. It's a bit scary..
11-14-2007, 06:43 PM
Are you friends w/ the other girls mom?
My son, 4, had a sleepover w/ 1 of his friends. What we did was set up our small tent in the basement ("campout"), and the other boy's father slept over, too, on the futon next to the tent and my DH upstairs. (We offered the other father DS's bed, but he opted to be close to the boys because his son needs help in late-night-zombie-state bathroom runs). We plan on doing it that way again.
11-14-2007, 07:00 PM
My son loves having sleep overs! He started around 6 and has one every month or so...I would talk to the other mother and see what she thinks about the sleep over, if both girls are ready then go for it!
11-14-2007, 08:06 PM
Well, here's what we decided to do. This is a friend from preschool, and I've never spent any time with the child or mom outside of drop off/pick up time. I told Nikki that she can't have a sleep over - yet. First I'd talk to her friend's mom and see about having her come over for a play date. Then we'll see how it goes from there :)
11-14-2007, 08:54 PM
My son is 4 and we have sleepovers with his best friend nearly every other Saturday since he was about 3 1/2. We do pizza and I let them watch a movie on the big tv. Then sunday school Sunday and I drop him off after that. They LVOE it! They are at my house though. I am a little over-protective and am not ready to let him stay elsewhere yet. :blush His mother doesnt mind. I think she loves the break it gives her!
eta) his mother and I are pretty good friends and the boys have been around eachother a lot since they were born. So this may be different.
11-14-2007, 08:55 PM
Well, we're out of the norm obviously. But we decided we don't do sleepovers. While I do have a few fond memories of them as children, there is rarely anything particularly good going on after midnight. I know at 6-9 there's probably nothing bad, but as kids get older they start getting into more. And I think it's hard to say they can do it when they're in gradeschool but not middle school, or whatever. And I got into some not-so-good situations when I was a teenager, that could have been avoided if I wasn't up with friends at 3am. I know we can't shelter our kids forever, but to my mind this goes along with having a curfew.
Also, there are some families that while I like the children my children are friends with and the mom, I have doubts about the older brothers/fathers, or whatever. It's not worth it to put my children in possible danger and it's too much to say, well, you can sleep at Susie's house but not Michelle's, when she's equal friends with both. So if there's a slumber party, the children can go and we'll pick them up at 10pm or so.
I'm not saying that's the decision to be made for everyone! But this is what my husband and I feel is right for our family.
11-15-2007, 02:38 AM
My daughter went to her first sleep over when she was 7 and everything went great. It's always been to a relative of ours though.
11-15-2007, 11:48 AM
I'm actually with Dielle, no sleep overs for our family. My parents didn't have me do sleep overs either and it never bothered me that they just picked me up at midnight.
11-15-2007, 11:52 AM
Uhmm my oldest might be having her first one for her birthday in April at 9...she an have a few friends. But I have to think how I am gonna handle thsi with little G runnng about.
I have to really trust another family to have my children spend the night there. We've had the kids stay with family friends' before but only my oldest has had a real "sleepover" and he is 7. I'm not too hip on doing them younger than that. I'm not ready to institute a "no sleepovers ever" policy but I can understand those that do and I think there will be very few families I will allow my kids to spend the night with. Just not something I'm terribly comfortable with.
11-15-2007, 12:19 PM
My son had his first sleepover (he staying at their house) at 6, and the first slumber party (other kids staying at our house) when he was 5. All pretty harmless, they just wanted to watch DVDs and play Nintendo til about 9pm then chat for a while and fall asleep.
One thing that struck me though, why can't a four year old girl have a four year boy as a friend and have him sleep over at the slumber party? Unless the boy if a lot older or something, in which case he wouldn't want to come to the party anyway. What's the deal with that then?
11-15-2007, 01:32 PM
Well, we decided about the boy thing because 1. Daddy was turning purple at the thought of a boy sleeping in her room and 2. because I don't want to start a rule now and have to change it later.
I also agree that it would have to be a family I was VERY comfortable with before Nik goes there to spend the night, which is why I agreed to play dates instead of a slumber party.
11-15-2007, 01:36 PM
My DD is 5 and we haven't had an official sleepover yet. We have sleepover afternoons though, were we invite a few friends over and ask them to wear their pjs and bring their sleeping bags and do all of the slumber party stuff minus the whole sleeping over part... everyone just goes home at bedtime.
11-15-2007, 03:18 PM
My dd had her first sleepover with a friend in Kindergarten. She had an actual "slumber party" with a group of friends in the 1st grade.
11-15-2007, 04:56 PM
My daughters 2 & 4 have 'sleepovers' with certain friends whom we know the parents well. But at that age its more like overnight baby sitting and usually comes about when one of us parents has some sort of evening event they need to attend...
11-15-2007, 05:17 PM
We did the family type sleepovers, cousins and my little sister when my daughter was little. She had her first real sleepover with friends about 7 or 8.
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